With four days to go before the course starts, I have been reminded how valuable my friends have been in their encouragement and support for me during the last few months. Many of you, as you hopefully read this, will recognise yourselves so please be upstanding and take a bow! Thanks also to those of you who have made suggestions and offered advice - I have listened and in some cases, acted on that advice!
It was last May on a glorious sunny morning when I broke the news to my regular Saturday morning golf partners that I was unemployed and that I would seriously have to consider whether I opted out of the little side bets that we had going every week. They were duly considerate and sympathised with me - for about 5 seconds - they then talked about me to each other within earshot saying that they really didn't want to play with some one who didn't have a job and who was on the dole - and didn't the Club have rules about letting riff -raff in and would I mind parking my car in the lower car park where all the other cars that were 10 years old or more were parked! Needless to say, the more I entered into the banter, the more extreme their views became! One friend even bought me 4 cans of Carlsberg Special Brew, a set of bongo drums and a piece of card board on which was written "Homeless and jobless - please give generously" and told me to sit at the entrance to the club house in the hope that someone would take pity on me! Other friends suggested that I might like to consider doing some supply teaching - the money is good and you can pick and chose where you go. Sounded attractive except that the last time I was in front of a group of children in a formal classroom situation was in 1983 and the thought of having to cover last period Year 10 French on a wet Friday afternoon in Maesteg Comprehensive, filled me with horror. I'm sure Maesteg Comp is a great school, but probably not for me!
So spring ran into summer - there was no let up or respite from my golfing buddies' banter and leg pulling - my only revenge was to take the £3 side bet money off them on a Saturday morning with monotonous regularity in the hope that I would, one day, bankrupt them. Highly unlikely, I know, one is an Investment banker, one is a Chief engineer for a pharmaceutical company and one is a bookie! Have you ever heard of a bookie going bankrupt?
Even my kids were now joining in - "Hey dad - where's your Big Issue?" would be followed by "Can't you afford a razor now?" when the slightest bit of stubble appeared on my lower jaw. Still I was confident that they had been brought up properly and that they would soon tire of the jibes - I was wrong - they were definitely my boys!
Then came the big announcement - At the age of 55 I was going back to school to learn a new skill, cooking! This, I thought would shut them all up. It didn't, in fact it just meant a change of tack and a different focus for their comments. "Learning how to flip burgers are you? - shouldn't have any difficulty getting a job in McDonald's - except you're too old", encouraged Andy. "You can come and make the teas for the football team on Saturday when you've finished the course", invited Wattsie.
"Don't poison us all will you butt?", pleaded Simon. Well I think that's what he said. He's from near Gilfach Goch somewhere up in the Valleys and we need a translator to understand him sometimes!
Friends - where would we be without them and their kind words in times of crisis!
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